Marriage & Family

Shock headline: Dog bites man

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An article in the The Telegraph expresses the incredulity and shock of both Johnathan Peralman, the Telegraph’s correspondent in Sydney and other Australian media at the recent decision of the Anglican Church in Sydney to include the words “Will you honour and submit to him, as the church submits to Christ?” in one of their recommended vows for wives to say to their husbands within marriage ceremonies.

Give thanks to God for Archbishop Peter Jensen and for the many evangelicals within the Anglican Church in Sydney.  But what’s odd, yet sadly all too common about the article, is the snide, belittling, language and tone towards a teaching of the church that has been around since the Apostle Paul.

The move is described as the “controversial pledge,” there has been “furious public criticism,” against a section of the church that “is notorious for its staunch conservatism.”  Then there’s the reference to  50 Shades of Grey, the recent trash lit fad, by which two millennia of Christian use of vocabulary is now apparently to be judged.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, – Ephesians 5:22-25

Paul wrote the book of Ephesians 2,000 years ago, much of western civilisation has been based upon a Judeo-Christian view of marriage for a great deal of that time, and yet when it’s affirmed by bible-believing Christians, it’s reported as though it’s a startling case of man bites dog rather than what it actually is.

If you don’t know, don’t shoot

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This coming Sunday evening we’ll be considering the 6th Commandment, You shall not murder.  Below is a link of Dr Peter Kreeft on why even those who are not convinced by pro-life arguments, have no reason at all to support the abortion of the unborn foetus.

You’ll need to pay attention to the argument and maybe watch it a few times over but the logic is undeniable.

The Fifth Commandment: Frame on Family

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On Sunday evening we will be thinking about the fifth commandment as we continue our way through the Westminster Shorter Catechism.  John Frame in his excellent The Doctrine of the Christian Life, shows how the narrow application of the command within the context of family relationships, is rightly to be broadened to the other areas of authority in life – church and state.  He also gives a timely warning against one sphere of authority encroaching upon another.

So the family is the basic unit of human society. … all the institutions of society—prophetic, priestly, and kingly—begin in the family. To children, parents are rulers, educators, providers, and evangelists. All other forms of authority are extended forms of fatherhood and motherhood. Historically developmentally, and logically, the family is, I said in the previous chapter, “the fundamental sphere from which all others are derived.”  Honor in all spheres is derived from parental honor.

The family is also crucial to economic well-being. Honor to parents brings inheritance. It brings long life and prosperity. Rousas Rushdoony points out that “throughout history the basic welfare agency has been the family.”  Government policies that weaken the family lead to poverty and cultural decline. (Frame, Doctrine of the Christian Life, 595)

Fatherhood: the core of the universe

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It’s Father’s Day in the UK tomorrow and we’ll be thinking about holy fatherhood tomorrow morning from Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21.  In his post here, Glenn Stanton picks up on Lewis’ words that because our God is a Father, fatherhood is at the core of the universe.  What are the implications of our God, the Eternal Father?  Stanton says this means

that the universe is not a dark, empty, impersonal place. Just the opposite. At its core, it is an overwhelmingly warm, relational, personal place. This explains why broken and unhealthy relationships, loneliness, and abandonment are among the most painful of human experiences.

God’s essential Fatherhood also means the devil

loathes our fathers and those of us who are fathers. He recognizes fatherhood’s power. He recognizes each earthly father’s iconic nature. He realizes the pain it causes God and his image-bearing creatures when fatherhood is corrupted. And this delights our mortal enemy.

It’s worth reading the whole article, whether you are a father or not.

Going to church with family

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You’ll find 10 helpful tips for going to church with your family below and they are explained more over here.

The only thing I’d quibble with is the working out of No. 6 – Stay until the end.  That’s fine but I think we can do better than merely opting to district children with toys and books while the adults talk or serve.  That makes church look as if it is an adult only activity.  Better to involve the little people as well, before, during and after our gathered worship.  And here’s a link to a great resource to help think about how to do that.

1. Go every Sunday

2. Go with joy and expectation

3 Arrive on time

4. Pray as a family before you arrive

5. Treat church as an extended family gathering

6. Stay until the end

7. Speak well of church

8. Receive the word with thankfulness

9. Look for new people and people with needs

10. Thank your minister

Visible Submission

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With thanks to Doug Wilson

“If a husband were to ask his wife to put on her best red dress so that they could go out to a fancy restaurant, she would not say, ‘Honey . . . I submit.’ The place where submission is tested is always at the point of significant disagreement. When we think we have only two options — complete agreement or open defiance — we have left out the greenhouse where true humility grows. That greenhouse is a place of cheerful compliance with a legitimate authority that is believed to be mistaken” (A Primer on Worship and Reformation, p. 18).

Mommy Wars

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There’s been a helpful series of posts over at the Desiring God blog, all focusing on the particular temptations that new moms (that’s mum’s with an American accent I guess), are likely to be subjected to.

Lots of what is said there is applicable to both new mums and dads, and there’s things to chew over for parents however old their children are.  find the first post here, and then find subsequent posts at the bottom of the article.

Books on parenting

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Somebody asked me last week for a list of  books / resources we’ve found helpful on parenting from a Biblical viewpoint.  Granted we’ve only had four and a bit years to work through all of the wisdom to be found below, we would recommend the following:

Standing on the Promises: What has God called us to as Christian parents?  Wilson’s book helps in thinking through establishing a faithful Christian culture within our homes that will shape our children as they grow to maturity.

Shepherding a Child’s Heart: With a similar approach and message to his brother’s DVDs (see below), Tedd got there first.  This is a great book in helping you think how to deal with your child’s heart and not just trying to get them to conform to your desired behavioural requirements.

Getting to the heart of Parenting: Paul  Tripp’s DVD is a series of accessible seminars on the need for parents to deal with their child’s heart rather than using their greater power to  temporarily change their child’s behaviour.  Excellent material for parents of tots right through to teens.

Loving the Little Years: A collection of biblical thoughts on mothering young children – for when you are motivated, for when you are discouraged, for times when discipline seems fruitless, and for when you are just plain tired.

Future Men: Is a must whether you’ve got boys or whether you’ve got girls that will one day be looking to marry boys.  How to bring up boys to be biblically masculine, full of believing friendship, courage, faithfulness and integrity.

Parenting in the Pew: Full of thoughts and ideas for not merely keeping your children quiet during gathered worship, but to help them engage in worship as something that is for them from their youngest years.

Babywise: Written by Christians but not explicitly a Christian book.  A really helpful book to support new parents practically establish life-patterns that ensure your bundle of joy doesn’t become the idol of your heart or the ruler of your home.

Marriage – What did you expect?

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Thinking of getting married, newly married, been married for ever …

Well come on, what did you expect?

This DVD from Paul Tripp looks like an excellent resource on helping us think about our marriages in a Biblical way, by dealing with our heart problem rather than merely the symptoms of that problem.

The clip below is from the promotional material for the DVD, but you can find lots of samples from the DVD itself here and if you want to purchase it you can do from here.

What Did You Expect? from Nate Salciccioli on Vimeo.